Welcome back to episode 2 of the popular daytime soap- Successfully Skivving! While the rest of the world goes about their black hazy monday...Successfully Skivving Steph has managed to dodge all radars and yet again successfully skive off to the beat of Everything But The Girl's Best of Album! So what has she done today you ask? Well...
1. Downloaded her 48 emails and deleted 46 of those which were spam! Damn she's popular!
2. Fired off a grand total of 20 one line emails.
3. Rubbed her nose.
4. Surfed the net for broadcasters' contacts to email resumes to
5. Added another paragraph to her resume to give it extra oomph
6. Test bounced her chair to see if it could take her heftily healthy 72kg frame
7. Fired an email to her best bud 'bro' Ross, offloading all the energy that came from a double shot low fat latte
8. Had lunch
9. Bitched about the company
10. Sniggered about the company
11. Rubbed her eyes
12. Read ATP's Dimitry something's blog on the ATP website
13. Sniggered some more- that russian is a better writer than he is a player...before the blog he was in her "who that?" list
14. Bought an SR621SW battery, popped open her dead watch and revived it with the new battery
15. Felt pleased with herself for 1 minute for being such a tech whiz
16. Contemplate downloading all her music into her thumbdrive to take home
17. But decided on bombarding her gay boyfriend with an irreverent email
18. Feeling pleased with her decision for almost 1 minute...5...4...3...2...1. Ok, 1 minute.
Shoot me! It really is a lifeless dead monday but I rather this than be filled to the brim with work! It's a fluke that today went so swimmingly well...started out with a joke really. The female boss actually called in sick! Sick you say?! Pleasssse! This woman is iron casted! In my entire 4 and a half years of working, she has never reported sick...ok only once- last year when she called in sick only to bust in through the front door at 11am! Sicko she is- in the head! What a prank to play on the employees! So this time round, we didnt fall for it! And whaddya know? She busts in at 11am again! Ha! Buy 4D everyone!
Apparently, it's her usual monthly cramps, although someone should tell her that to us it seems like a daily affair from the way she treats us...and oooh, poor lady walked around the office with the most pitiful look on her face like Bambi's wounded mom...Someone shoot her already. Or tell her her womb's screaming to be used!!! Ok that was below the belt...no pun intended...snigger, snigger.
From someone's messed up womb, we move onto singapore's messed up sky...ah yes, my writing mentor will be so pleased with my effective linkage between segments... Today's PSI is at an unhealthy high of 130 which basically means to hell with your lungs! Marlboro is coming up with a new campaign as we speak- the sky is fucked anyway, so why quit? Smoke away! Hey you think they need a writer over there?
Oh, in case you didnt experience it while you were here, Indonesian farmers do their slash and burn technique of clearing the land for farming- yeah it sounds like something the company would do too...but that means lots of smoke blows our way and turns the sky into something not unlike China's skyline. Yes, being here now is like waking up to Guangzhou every morning. Frightening thought huh?
And I cant begin to tell you what the air smells like! Toasty is a nice way to put it but I have never been very PC (see my womb joke) so it really smells like burnt rubber! Great though cuz that just means I can put off any exercising that I have been planning since...oh last year?! When will this end you ask? Dunno really...they say when the monsoon season hits, thats when the rain will wipe out the fires...but if we are judging by last year's downpour, we are expecting only a little tinsy tinkle. Hope it ain't the case this year! Am looking forward to taking out my wellies for its annual splash in the rain! Oh who am I kidding? I will be tracking through mud in my crocs!
BTW, Daniel V from Season whatever of Project Runway hates Crocs...but I say dont diss it till you've tried it! Ugly it may be but f-ing hell, is it comfy! I think it's just his way of dissing the direct competitor of Bierkenstocks of who Heidi Klum is a designer for...hmmm, do i smell a conspiracy!
Alright, it's half an hour till the ding dong, so will go download my music off the com...thumb drives are the next greatest thing to be invented after the....PC! Screw you Apple!! You can take over the rest of the world, but you will NEVER TAKE ME!
To be continued....
Thank you for watching Sucessfully Skivving..it has taken Successfully Skivving Steph a total of 38mins! Whee!
